Ever see a 4′ 11″, 226 lb. sorority girl – in a Jefferson Airplane baby doll tee – throw down three Big Bacon Classics before meeting her equally unattractive girlfriends at the club? There’s a REASON The Man Without a Face shops for Heath and Diet Rite at a mom and pop 60 miles out of town mere hours before the rising sun.
Unless God has mudflaps and angina, He did not create you in His image. Either reshuffle your Deal-a-Meal cards or live your medieval life span in seclusion, marinated in Thousand Island and failure. I’m tired of pretending I CAN’T smell that you missed a few spots in the shower for logistical reasons.
Not sure if this applies to you? Well, here’s how you can tell.
If this is your family crest…
I’d like to recommend a nice, tall glass of this…
You know. Instead of abusing Arby’s “5 for $5.95″ policy and ordering ALL Jamocha shakes.
