Congratulations Oklahoma!!!

Congratulations Oklahoma for moving up from 23rd in 2003 to the 9th FATTEST STATE IN THE UNION in 2007!!!! Let’s all celebrate our newfound success by assembling in Bricktown for a carnival. We’ll have fun games like throwing a Toblerone in a dark room full of starving, overweight, gay, rapist bikers to see who comes out cocoa mouth and cocoa South. We’ll have an Easter Egg hunt but fill the eggs with alfredo and not hide them because fat people are too lazy to look for shit. But hey, if they weren’t, we wouldn’t have children to put on the sides of milk cartons!!! See, one hand washes the other. In fudge.