Dearest Twilight fans,
If I were picking on an eleven year old girl for having a crush on Edward, I would completely understand the violent reaction to my criticism of the Twilight phenomenon. But GROWN ASS women are angrily defending the film and the books like someone ate all the rye chips from their Big Grab of Gardetto’s. Pardon me, but I am entitled to an equal but opposite opinion. I had the exact same negative reaction toward Harry Potter, beanie babies, Fuckle Me Elmo and N-Sync. Products manufactured for CHILDREN have turned ADULTS into goddamn maniacs. If you want to dress up like a wizard with your 8-year-old to go to a midnight book release, that’s perfectly fine. In fact, you’re a cool ass mom/dad for doing so. But if you’re a single, childless 45-year-old man/woman, dressed like a wizard at a midnight book release, you better be at a fuckin’ key party on Halloween.
At some point, we’ve all been consumed by consumerism. But it is absolutely ludicrous to inflate the value of bullshit like Twilight to the point where it’s some groundbreaking artistic achievement that we’re all foolish not to recognize and embrace. At the end of the day, it’s still right up there with Baby Geniuses and Dunston Checks In. Correction: At least Dunston Checks In had an orangutan AND Faye Dunaway.
