Over the past few days, I’ve reveled in the anti-Valentine’s Day sentiments floating around social networks. Right now, Facebook and Twitter are ablaze with “I don’t believe in V-Day.” “It’s just another day on the calendar.” “I refuse to participate in commercial holidays.” I like to imagine MILLIONS of disgruntled, C.H.U.D.s, with ex-girlfriends who look like Bennett from Commando, nestled safely in a blanket of empty snack wrappers, listening to Almost Paradise and jerking off onto a three by five of Kerri Strug.
I bet most of you denouncing Valentine’s Day gladly celebrate Christmas, Halloween and Easter. EVERY HOLIDAY IS A COMMERCIAL HOLIDAY. Just accept that you’re in a capitalist society and folks will always find a way to turn the sacred and secular into their personal ATMs. People are only incensed because of the stereotypical implications of being alone on this day or the obligation to celebrate what you should be celebrating every day. When I was single, I never begrudged anyone this day. Not unlike Christmas or any other popular holiday, I understood it to be a time for sentimentality. Now that I’m married, I can appreciate the breather from the daily grind. Even though I show my love and appreciation to my wife every day, it’s still nice that people know to let us have this day to ourselves without interruption. Single or not, V-Day, X-mas, Easter, St. Paddy’s…all wonderful breaks from everyday life centered around specific expectations.
Today, some of us will get happy endings. Some of us will get sad endings. Either way, you’re alive and well and full of tugs. Be thankful for it. Also, be thankful that there isn’t the same fanfare for Administrative Professional’s Day. Congratulations. You can use Microsoft Word. Here’s a lifetime supply of FUCK OFF and a small bag of dreams.
