is the fucking GAYEST song I’ve ever heard. Right up there with “Goodbye Earl” and every other “uterus rock” song ever written.
I’m a hot waitress who made shitty life decisions - hence being a waitress. I date truckers and small town cocksuckers and they treat me like shit but I can’t seem to break this [...]

Congratulations Oklahoma for moving up from 23rd in 2003 to the 9th FATTEST STATE IN THE UNION in 2007!!!! Let’s all celebrate our newfound success by assembling in Bricktown for a carnival. We’ll have fun games like throwing a Toblerone in a dark room full of starving, overweight, gay, rapist bikers to see who comes [...]

Remember when an extra 40 pounds on a man meant wealth, winsome facial hair, and an elegant wife? A potbelly meant you could afford to eat the finest steaks, drink luscious vintage wine, vote Republican, and still afford to bribe local authorities to conceal the fact that your alpha-male, blue chip prospect, All-American first son [...]