“LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) — A woman has sued “Jeopardy!” TV quiz show host Alex Trebek in connection with the disappearance of a $100,000 broodmare she delivered to his central California horse breeding farm.”
Why must everyone always link Alex Trebek to international AND local conspiracies? Wouldn’t it be grand if Trebek had a secret board room where the walls were covered in mirrors like in Enter the Dragon? He could do nude pilates while twirling his diabolic mustachio and making dynamic, world-altering decisions on his oversized rotary phone. What if his secret room were guarded by an axe-wielding concubine with 7 charisma? And what if his castle – because a man this evil needs his own 14th century French castle – was at the edge of a metaphorical Sea of Cheese, catty-corner to an actual Rainbow of Ogre Balls? What if the steed in question was the mythological Pegasus, equipped with flight goggles, Red Baron scarf and giant foam hand that read, “Tampax was here!!”? He could fly into the sunset, hands held high, shouting answers in the form of questions to his god.
This is all speculation, mind you. There’s no way they could make a rotary phone that big.
