Tag Archive for 'Saddam'

How to Torture a Dictator

Fun ways to make Saddam Hussein leak valuable information:

1. Make him drink from a Kenyan’s sock after the NYC Marathon.

2. Invent a harness that forces him to 69 Kirk Cameron.

3. Strip him naked, tie him to a conveyor belt on a dairy farm, and have 40 overweight Germans wipe their dicks on him after an anal gangbang with a lactose-intolerant, Serbian midget named Rita.

4. Tell him he’s the guest of honor at a Dave Coulier sponsored charity event.

5. Offer him a conjugal visit courtesy of the U.S. government. Turn on the lights, in mid-pump, to reveal Rue McClanahan on all fours.