The sign said, “Discount DVD’s: $5.99 and Up!”
The store looked small, inside and out, like a mom and pop alternative to Blockbuster. Hey, their rentals were only $2.99 for 3 days. They must be doing something right. The new releases were on 7 foot shelves in the front of the store. Where were the older videos? Where were the clearance DVD’s? We walked back into the adult section for shits and giggles. IT WAS A WAREHOUSE OF PORN. 650 square feet of Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, Squirt Master 62 and The Meat Missile Missionary Meets the Anal Avenger. There was even a tape called “Fossil Fuckers”. Yes, the cover featured old ladies doing things that would kill a healthy 20 year-old. I guess if I ever wanted to rent The Best of David Copperfield AND College Co-Ed Donkey Lickers, this would be the place.
I have a simple question. Why do they put porn tapes in those gargantuan VHS boxes? It’s bad enough the cashier and dozens of patrons know you’re going straight home to jack off. The oversized box is the walk of shame. You might as well have a giant foam hand and a salami hanging from your shorts.
